The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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