Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Michael Bay diarrhea
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
