So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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