you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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