weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
