Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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