In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
