sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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