i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
