he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
