Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
