Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
