I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
