You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im six kinds of drunk right now
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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