Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
