haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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