Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
