okay pat passed out under dana's car
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
