I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You left your phone here
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