Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
