with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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