Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
