come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
