He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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