I'm jealous of your bromance
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
