this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I know her cup size but not her name....
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