Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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