grandma shit on top of the toilet
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
