I want to have your abortion
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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