Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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