There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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