So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
