You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
