he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
