I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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