You really coming over, don't trick.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
