Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
