you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
