What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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