Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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