ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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