There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
