Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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