I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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