please come you make the beer taste better
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's never too late to be topless.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
