she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
