hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
