Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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