Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
