Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
