so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
