He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
