i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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